Unhelpful Thinking Part 2
As outlined in the last blog post, we all carry unconscious mental rules that create a ripple effect in our lives. These rules dictate how we live, see the world, interact with others, and even how we view ourselves! So, how do we know if the unconscious thinking patterns in our brains are actually unhelpful? Keep reading to understand "Jumping to Conclusions," a typical unhelpful thinking style that might be wreaking havoc on your mental well-being. For a personalized approach to understanding your unhelpful thinking patterns, connect with Wingate Counseling for a free consultation.
Jumping to Conclusions
We know our brain works hard to interpret information at top speed to keep us safe. Still, speed isn't always the best approach for analyzing the world. Jumping to conclusions is a common mental shortcut that races to an answer without all the facts. This unhelpful thinking style can be broken down into two categories, mind reading and fortune-telling.
Mind reading is imagining we know what others think, often without evidence. While fortune-telling involves predicting the future, also without much evidence. The emotional cost to this thinking style is often painful as humans have a significant negativity bias, meaning we are pros at "worse case scenario" thinking. Below are some examples and helpful fixes to these thinking patterns.
Unhelpful Thinking and Helpful Fixes
Mind Reading
Grief
Situation: You want to check in on a friend after a loss.
Unhelpful Thinking: "He doesn't want to talk about his loss. I better not say anything at all."
Helpful Thinking: "I've heard him talk openly about his loss, and I want him to know that I care."
Depression
Situation: You see an ex-partner post a happy picture on social media.
Unhelpful Thinking: "She's so happy since she broke up with me!"
Helpful Thinking: "This post doesn't tell the full story; we all post our "happy" pictures on social media."
Anxiety
Situation: You walk in late to a meeting.
Unhelpful Thinking: "Everyone here thinks I'm so irresponsible."
Helpful Thinking: "We all run late sometimes; I don't have to be so hard on myself."
Fortune-Telling
Grief
Situation: You're planning a loved one's funeral without a clear understanding of their last wishes.
Unhelpful Thinking: "Everyone in the family will be mad at the arrangements. I know I will let them down and make their grief worse!"
Helpful Fix: "Making these decisions is hard; all I can do is my best. Hopefully, my family will be able to see the love I've put into the funeral."
Depression
Situation: You are applying to colleges.
Unhelpful Thinking: "There's no way I'm going to get accepted into my dream college. There's no point in applying"
Helpful Fix: "I'm selling myself short if I don't even apply. I have a lot of things universities are looking for in future students."
Anxiety
Situation: You get invited to speak at a work conference.
Unhelpful Thinking: "I can't accept this invitation. I'm a terrible public speaker; I'll just make a fool of myself and embarrass the company."
Helpful Fix: "Public speaking is a little scary, but there's a reason I was asked to the conference."
As you can probably tell, the helpful fixes approach the situation with more logic than emotional reasoning. It's easy to make assumptions about what others think or what might happen in life. However, assumptions without all the facts lead to emotional distress.
The Bottom Line
Spend some time taking inventory of your predictions. Do this simple exercise to implement your own mental fixes; write down your prediction and "put it on trial," meaning look for the evidence to support or disprove this thought. When we slow down, most of us realize that we're making big assumptions that cause us big distress. It can be tricky to spot unhelpful thinking patterns on your own. Consider working with a licensed therapist to empower yourself to change mental shortcuts that aren't working for you! Connect with Wingate Counseling for a free consultation to learn more about starting your personalized journey.
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