It’s the most anxious time of the year!

The holidays are almost here! For some of us, this is exciting news, but for some of us, the holiday season can feel overwhelming. Maybe you’ve never considered that those tricky feelings you get around the holiday are actually anxiety! If you are noticing anxiety as the holidays approach, remember it is okay to reach out! Connect with me to explore in-person or online therapy support during the holiday season.

Let’s explore some of the ways holiday anxiety shows up and a few useful tips to maneuver your anxiety this year.

Holiday anxiety can look like…

Generally speaking, anxiety disorders are characterized by anticipation of a future threat. When experiencing anxiety, it’s common to overestimate the danger of a situation. Anxiety is associated with tension in our bodies, cautious or avoidant behaviors, and increased worry or fear in our minds.

So what are some of those future threats we might encounter this holiday season? Family obligations, increased socializing, traveling, financial strains, giving or receiving gifts - the list goes on and on! For someone with anxiety, this time of year might be linked with performance. An anxious person can feel pressure to find the right present. More pressure is added when they have to open their secret Santa gift in front of the whole office. Performance or social anxiety also shows up this time of year as obligatory socialization increases. After all, the holidays mean seeing extended family members, who you don’t talk to the rest of the year.

Besides performance, a perceived threat to security can trigger anxiety. For some people, logistical aspects like traveling or financial aspects like matching another’s gift-giving can increase anxiety. If you are afraid of flying, your security can feel threatened when your mom pressures you to make the trip home this year. In addition to finances and physical safety, our social world impacts our security. Back in caveman times, when we relied on tribes to survive, our basic safety was in danger if our social world was upset. Yes, I know that was a long time ago, but we as humans haven’t evolved as much as we sometimes hope. Peace in our social world means calm in our brains, so when that uncle starts arguing about politics, our brain registers a threat and triggers anxiety!

Stick to a routine

Life is complex; in today’s world, these perceived threats seem to be lurking in many places! So why does anxiety show up more intensely during the holidays? Since we deal with perceived threats through cautious and avoidant behaviors, most of us have found many workarounds to cope with our anxiety in our everyday lives. Unfortunately, holidays tend to disrupt routines. Our routine is nowhere in sight: flight layovers, sleeping on a pull-out couch, heavy foods, extra booze, and endless together time!

While there isn’t anything wrong with holiday traditions, the excessive nature might be the real problem for anxious people. Sticking to some form of a routine will help give you agency over your life during this busy time of year. While it may not be practical to continue every aspect of your routine during the holidays, try to find a few things you can continue. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule. Keep up with your daily mindfulness practice. Incorporate some form of physical activity if that’s normal for you. Don’t underestimate the power of a routine to help frame your day!

Be open about your needs

It is tempting to go along with the holiday marathon not to ruffle any feathers, but that just sounds miserable! You want to enjoy the holidays too, right? If something is too much for you, speak up! It’s okay to be honest and upfront about your needs with trusted friends and family members. People can’t help if they don’t know how you’re doing. Communicate beforehand and work with trusted people in your life to develop a plan.

For example, if your partner has many family obligations, communicate together about your involvement. Let your partner in on your anxiety and work with each other to compromise. It’s okay to drive separately or opt out of some events. Just because something is planned or you are invited doesn’t mean you have to go. Or, if family dinners get rowdy after a night of drinking, let your family know you will be leaving after dinner this year. Maybe you can compromise by showing up earlier and visiting with others before the drinking starts. Whatever you decide, open communication beforehand helps set expectations and gives others time to adjust. Most importantly, having a plan enables you to manage the perceived threats while still enjoying what you want.

For those with anxiety, the holidays can be a tricky time to navigate! You don’t have to figure it all out alone, connect with me for your personalized support. Therapy is a worthwhile investment in yourself. As you give to others this holiday season, don’t forget to give to yourself too!