Gramps: The Ideal Grandpa

Sarah, a professional life coach, and self-described free spirit shared about losing her grandfather, affectionately known as Gramps. To Sarah, Gramps was the “ideal grandpa.” He loved simple pleasures in life and was always personal and present. Being at Gramps’s meant slowing down and enjoying quality time together. Sarah reminisced on the long summer days spent fishing and swapping stories with Gramps.

One month after his 90th birthday, Gramps died in his room at a retirement community. Sarah remembered mixed feelings of heartache and shock; that same day their beloved family dog, Maya, had to be put to sleep. “I just broke down in my dad’s arms when I heard the news.” These two constants, Gramps and Maya, dying on the same day was overwhelming for Sarah. One loss had magnified the other, and life had changed so fast.

As she moved through grief, Sarah recalled a sense of reasoning with herself. “It’s expected for a grandparent to die, so why am I crying? Gramps was old and had a full life, I shouldn’t be this sad,” she repeated in her mind. Sarah quickly found that these thoughts were not helpful or true. Losing such an influential and important person was difficult, no matter how old Gramps was. We don’t often think I had all the time I wanted when someone we love dies. We always want more. One more day at Gramps’ house. One more belly laugh together. One more hug.

A blessing of “more Gramps” soon came. “So many friends supported me at the funeral. Everyone had a story about Gramps. I loved it—it made him feel alive again!” She could picture Gramps in each story and felt lucky to have such a special grandfather. His impact on others was as evident as the loss Sarah now felt. The joy in remembering helped Sarah come into a new version of grief—softer, more accepting.

Sarah still navigates through grief. There are times of heartache and times of laughter when remembering Gramps. Although Gramps is gone from this world, he is still very much alive in Sarah’s world, especially whenever she throws out her fishing line and enjoys life’s simple pleasures—Gramps style.