Common Grief Emotions: Sadness

Common grief emotions are hard and painful, which most of us would rather avoid. Difficult emotions are a part of grief that can't be avoided. Making room for our grief (the good, bad, and ugly) is necessary for healing. In fact, turning toward these tricky emotions actually decreases their intensity and leads to a better understanding of ourselves.

Join me over the next few weeks as I outline some common yet messy grief emotions. Today is all about sadness. If you are grieving and experiencing strong emotions, know you don't have to navigate this process alone. Connect with Wingate Counseling to start your healing journey!

Grief Sadness

Sadness can feel like a constant in grief. Feelings of sadness are usually intensified by special times like holidays, birthdays, or other important life events. But sometimes, intense sadness can seem to come out of nowhere. Life disappointments like messing up at work or losing your car keys can feel surprisingly sad. Little annoyances that you could previously handle now leave you in tears! During grief, your body is so full of sadness that it takes any opportunity to express these heavy feelings you've been carrying around. However sadness shows up for you, rest assured that this is a normal response to grief.

Top Tips For Managing Sadness

Acknowledge Rather Than Resist

Sadness is a part of grief; there's no point in struggling against it! Engaging with sadness and letting the tears flow helps reduce the severity of the feeling. Expressing sadness can feel challenging but serves as a necessary emotional release. If you feel afraid to "lean in" to painful feelings, rest assured that emotions don't last forever.

Understand Your Sadness

When feeling overwhelmed, take the opportunity to understand what is underneath the sadness. Beyond the understanding that your sadness is connected to your loved one dying, it may be fueled by secondary loss. Maybe your sadness is about missing the opportunity to talk to your loved one for advice or to celebrate milestones together. Death denies us of many things like the opportunity to apologize for things in the past or create new memories in the future.

Allow A Range Of Emotions

Even though it might feel scary to engage in sadness, know that crying is natural and cathartic in the grieving process. Keep in mind that a range of emotions is part of the grieving process. Allowing a range of emotions also means not hiding behind sadness in avoidance of other heavy emotions like anger, guilt, or relief. In some ways, sadness can feel more socially acceptable than feelings like jealousy or numbness.

Listen To Your Body

Tune in to your body and be true to your emotional experience. You don't need others to validate your feelings; your grief process is unique to you! The best way to acknowledge your feelings is to accept that this grief is your own. Getting caught up in "the right way to grieve" might be tempting rather than forging your own process.

Takeaway

Sadness is a common emotion experienced in grief. Instead of resisting, spend your energy acknowledging your emotional experience with self-compassion. None of us always get it right, and that's okay! Navigating tricky emotions is a skill you can learn with the support of a licensed counselor. If you are experiencing grief and want personalized support, connect with Wingate Counseling for a free consultation.