Common Grief Emotions: Numbness

It may seem strange to think of numbness as a grief emotion, but it's a typical response to the death of a loved one. Like other tricky grief emotions, numbness is complex and painful. While we would rather avoid heavy feelings altogether, giving space to our emotions is necessary for healing.

Keep reading for a better understanding of numbness and make room for grief. If you are grieving and experiencing strong emotions, know you don't have to navigate this process alone. Connect with Wingate Counseling to start your healing journey!

Numbness in the beginning

Numbness can come in the beginning in the form of shock. Many people talk about being in a "grief fog" or feeling "out of touch with life" during the early days of grief. Our brains are trying to protect us from the tidal wave of emotions that accompany significant loss. This is especially true when the loss is sudden or traumatic. Numbness is very common initially and can continue to show up around significant events like anniversaries.

Beginning numbness looks like

Forgetfulness

Trouble concentrating

Loss of touch with your body

Low appetite

Sensitivity to stimulation like loud noises or bright lights

How to Cope

Try to acknowledge that you're experiencing some numbness. Beginning numbness is a natural reaction and will shift over time. Seek support from loved ones to help you make decisions and manage the list of "to-do's" following a death. It's okay to ask for help planning the funeral or take a day off work around a difficult anniversary. Remember to be gentle with yourself.

Numbness as a way to avoid

While some numbness is expected, there is a type of numbness as a means of coping or avoiding tricky feelings. Ignoring the painful aspects of grief may serve as a relief in the short term but causes complications down the road. Putting off our grief makes the process longer and diminishes all aspects of our life. You can't just numb the bad feelings; you end up numbing the good ones too. Additionally, when we suppress emotions, they are more likely to "pop up" at unexpected and inconvenient times.

Avoiding numbness looks like

Distracting yourself when upset

Distancing yourself from others or possible triggers

Ignoring urges from your body to release emotions

Using drugs, alcohol, food, work, or unsafe behaviors to suppress pain

How to Cope

Make room for grief by intentionally setting aside time for your emotions. Schedule crying (or screaming) sessions, write your thoughts in a journal, and share your feelings with a trusted friend or licensed therapist. Engage in meaningful or creative outlets to express your suppressed emotions.

Takeaway

Instead of resisting your emotions or judging yourself, spend your energy acknowledging your emotional experience with self-compassion. If you are experiencing numbness, try understanding its role in your grief. You can expect numbness in the early days of grief, knowing that your emotional landscape will shift with time. If your numbness serves as avoidance, be gentle with yourself and reach out for support! Navigating tricky emotions is a skill you can learn with the help of a licensed counselor. If you are experiencing grief and want personalized support, connect with Wingate Counseling for a free consultation.